


thank you for teaching me how to do nothing

by hezenvengeance



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 08:54:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21241469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hezenvengeance/pseuds/hezenvengeance
Summary: festival of the lost 2019





	thank you for teaching me how to do nothing

It hurts like a physical thing, lodged in the base of her throat, a weight in her chest alongside her heart. It feels _wrong_ still, trying to celebrate. It’s the dead of night; no one else is around, even Eva has seemingly turned in. Arin lights another candle quietly, shielding the flame from the wind with her hand and making for the hangar. 

It’s been a year, she thinks. A whole year since she gathered her mentor’s body in her arms; the absence of Light, Sundance’s shattered remains strewn across the floor. The tears. The denial. The depression. The cloak weighs heavier than it ought to on her shoulders, and the Ace is cold against her fingertips as she brushes the handle. Reassurance. 

Colonel greets her with a short cluck, bustling around her feet while she fishes for the feed she stowed in her pocket. The candle flickers, and Arin sets it down on a datapad, long defunct, the wax melting into the grooves of the console. The stairs make a good seat, and Colonel seems happy enough to be fed in her lap. Arin appreciates the warm weight, the occasional coos and clucks enough to fill the silence of the hangar as she watches the candle slowly burn down, the flame waning in the dark.

The tears come eventually, as they always do when her thoughts drift to Cayde. A mentor she didn’t ask for, a friend she’d never accounted for. Reckless. Flamboyant. Hilarious. Clever. Caring. Unstoppable, until he wasn’t. 

_ ‘I miss you.’  _

_ ‘I’m not sure what to do without you. The pyramid is here, the Darkness is here and I don’t know what to do. Eris is trying but she’s so weighed down by grief and loss she’s getting lost in it. Like I am.’ _

_ ‘She talks about you sometimes. I think she misses you, in her own way. You’d know what to do, wouldn’t you? Probably something crazy and daft, something impossible but it works because it’s impossible, because it’s you. Zavala would be so mad. Just like the Dreadnaught.’  _

_ _

_ ‘I keep thinking you’ll come back. Just waltz into the Tower like nothing ever happened, probably holding some forbidden contraband or a cool gun or Traveler forbid, a new pet. The hunters are still looking for your stashes, y’know? Don’t ever think we’ll find them all, but it’d be pretty cool if we did. You’d let us know if we did, right? Give us a sign. Fireworks, an explosion, maybe some confetti. I don’t know.’ _

_ ‘I tell all the new guardians about you. The hunters, especially. Introduce them to Colonel. There’s so many of them now, or maybe I’m just getting old. I killed an Ahamkara while you were gone. A taken one. Hah, beat that.’ _

_ ‘...You could probably beat that.’ _

_ ‘I... I hope I’m doing the right thing. It’s hard to know sometimes.’ _

_ ‘More than anything, I hope you’re proud of me.’ _

_ ‘Hunter Arin. Signing off.’  _


End file.
